Romance scams: the dark side of Valentine’s Day

While not limited only to February 14th, this day serves as a reminder of some of the dangers lurking on the internet.

LINCOLN, Neb. (KLKN) – Scammers seem to have Valentine’s Day all figured out, because whether you’re celebrating alone or with a significant other, there are some things to watch out for.

There are small scams, things like fake flower sites, that have been cropping up on the Better Business Bureau’s radar lately. Josh Planos, with BBB communications, says they’ve been getting reports of scammers taking money and either delivering poor quality flowers or not making any delivery at all, keeping the money and your information.

In cases like these, remember that if a deal seems too good to be true, it most likely is. When in doubt, try getting in contact with the supposed vendor. A legitimate business will be far more likely to answer your email or phone call than a scammer.

While getting ripped off instead of getting flowers is bad, there’s something much worse: the romance scam.

“They’re particularly devastating”, says Planos. “It’s not as simple as ‘I lost some money to somebody’, it’s ‘I lost that emotional investment’.”

It is an investment, for both the scammer and the person who is scammed. Victim Rebecca D’Antonio, who was made available as part of a study by SocialCatfish.com, made that investment over the course of a year when she met “Matthew” online.

Supposedly a single father from Australia, now living in America, Rebecca got to know the fabricated story built on the foundation of a few photos posted to a dating site. It seems almost too obvious, at first. How could somebody fall for a scam like this? Rebecca says it’s far easier than you might imagine.

“The people that do this are very skilled in what they do. It is their bread and butter”, she explains. “They know what to say to make you feel comfortable, to disarm you, and to gain trust, a connection, and ultimately, control.”

That’s just what happened. Getting more comfortable with “Matthew” and explaining away red flags, Rebecca would eventually give him money, lots of money, leaving her in a precarious position.

“By the end, Discover Card was suing me, I was being evicted from my apartment, so I was about to be homeless”, Rebecca recalls. “I could not see over the top of anything that was going on.”

A close brush with suicide would be a large part of what got her out. “Matthew’s” indifferent response to her plans, coupled with an unexpected admission to a friend would be the first steps. Now, after bankruptcy, Rebecca is a homeowner and has moved on. Still, though, she shares her experiences to help others.

“I don’t want anyone to ever have to go through any piece of what I had to go through when this happened”, she says. “If my speaking out can somehow prevent that, then yes, absolutely.”